introduction to oldness

It was about a couple of months ago at my working place –
The one I always preserve to create something
as beautiful as a everything you can come up with
and I used to have more patience
and more bottles, more scotch
I had a pack filled up great things
A box with shaggy ideas, 2 packs of smoke and a lover
who wanted me so bad that I would drive his brains hot
so hot they would flux
and I was having sex with papers, and with ideas, and with problems
I never thought I wasn’t
But when I went down to balance
I found out I only had a couple of bristle
hanging on
and that a lover and a couple of smoke and drinks
really don’t mean as much
as clarity
and my words
and my guilt
for all of that
became what you might call remorse
and terror
and horrible sadness
and we’re all trapped by the same misfortune
by the same fate
people do like to meet themselves in highways
and they like to ear
to get in touch with fictional characters
make love with them
in a deeply grievous delight
witch is hardly so tasty
because it’s not possible
and we dive in impossibility
and forget reason
and clarity
and right or wrong
what is
they asked me profusely
right and wrong
what is
this feeling
of having an electric heart
and skinny bodies
and funny noses
and dirty outstanding music
handsome battalions
so handsome and brutish
but irksome
and soon I give up loving
and give up smoking
and give up making love with strange creatures
and move around
very closely
to what is a mood
and
If only I never knew what’s this feeling
Of feeling old
Maybe I could feel young forever
And I would live.
Not knowing
That old can be a feeling.