Cats

Está tudo transfigurado

O cheiro quente e humidificado

Dos sexos

lubrificados

Das bocas que se movem

Em esgares mudos de nudez

Que devoram e não me seguram

Em calma e placidez

Rugem e cansam-se de não compreender

Mas ela existe

Está aqui implícita

Compreendem, de gatas

Em quatro patas levam-se

Ao precipício mas não caem

Lavam  ao se lamberem

O corpo um do outro

E engolem o que subsiste

A sujidade

Limpam-se

E esfregam-se pelo que vão andando

O corpo hirto mas baixo

À altura do chão

A cabeça inclinada

Roça e insiste uma na outra

Meio apaixonada

É nos bigodes que te sinto

Como afiar a altivez

Em tudo onde não a podes afiar

Sem timidez

Encostas-te quente

Deixas-me ronronar

E no tempo lento

Adormecemos

Já que conheces a melhor forma de dormir

E de como adormecemos

Encaixados

Encaixa-te

As nossas caudas agitam-se

E o espaço recorta-se em pedaços

 por entre o movimento de separar o ar

fodemos

de forma crua

animalesca

inconsciente

e lambo-te outra vez

lavo-te

mas

deixo um pedaço

para que fiques sujo de mim

adormecemos novamente

encaixados

eu sei onde tu estás

tu sabes onde eu estou

sentimos o odor

e os nossos instintos encontram-se

no escuro do quarto

onde nos conseguimos ver

e ronronas

eu ouço

ouço-te ronronar

e adormeço

Drunk with Love

I’ve been poisoned

I’ve been drunk

But I don’t stop

-pour me another one,

I yell

They listen, they don’t care

My need is fulfilled

My patience is not recovered

I’ve been drunk

I’ve been dead

So dead I almost feel

The cry of the infants

The kisses of lovers

The touch of dirt

I’ve been so drunk

I start to realize

How humanity is attached by merely acts of faith

Things seem so hard to get

But so easy to loose

You just let them go

Let them be finished

Don’t cry them

Don’t miss them

Don’t want them back

My cruelty is dead

I am deep

I’ve been drunk

I am not sorrowing

Not missing back

Not remembering

I let you stay

But only because I’m too wasted

To send you away.

I’ve been drunk

And when someone’s drunk

They don’t care

They don’t search

They keep digging

And words have been written

I’m filling my pages with

madness

when someone’s too drunk

they get nostalgic

they get lost

feed the wolves

my drink

and they will howl

it’ll seem soft

and kind,

the howl of drunk wolves,

but they are not in love

they are just mad

and this is behind all of that

I pour some more

But I don’t understand

What is wrong with my drink?

overthinking

I pass my hands through my lips

You watch how high I am

How low I rest

You please me

How you need me

I look. You look.

We crawl but keep apart

I offer you

Give to satisfy

What’s bothering you

Something’s getting awry

And I say: give me my mind back

But you’re not offering any

You sell my mouth

Blowback

I inhale the smoke

My mind’s still choking

In there

You swallow make a joke

We’re not here

I squeeze your hand

Grab hard

Warm it well

Stretch some lines

And murmured

You and me this could never get so perfect

I land my head

And your shoulder’s just fine

We’re warming our souls just for a second

And it could never get this perfect

How convict

I sight you under my eye

You’re away

Not mine

I can call

I can scream

But no sign

Not a line when

you get in one more time

I reach you

Call you I say I need you

But this once you’ll only be mine

If I can teach you

But you don’t wanna be teached

You wanna be pleased

I teased

You teased

And promised

me:

You’re not getting your mind back

So eased 

strugglin'

He’s feeding my body to his desire

Get in trace

With approaches

And being tied with one hand

Just means someone is strong enough to

Don’t let you go

Nowhere. Anywhere.

I scream, but moans are overrated

If I get less silently

Just means we got mated

Just brings

All your ghosts into this coffin.

It’s not smoke, neither mug

he lights, a flame in his hand

Sweat drips and falls right splashed

In sand

We’re around-

he smokes that flame

And tries to feel me

But we’re bumping in the same

Hard steps walk the floor

It’s not near, it’s not there

It’s not more

Then what you care

Being so tide

Ends up feeling good

Kidnaped in time

I ear the drums, I feel the pumps

-shiu, that’s my blood

Mine is riding up the volume

Milking my thighs

You need another lover

To fulfill the need

It’s rude but it’s floating away

And this space is not wide

Enough to limit them

Wouldn’t go anywhere

Anyhow

Since those strings are tide

And he’s point is to

Increase that shit

Until it gets hot like a hot tub

Hot like the sun

He wants us in trouble

But desire will only double

Sex it’s not an advantage

-I’m tired

-we’ll stay

breath, and sweat

Are eaten up away

He blows my head with a deep warmth

Envolves me

Devours me

I have to drag

Tied up

Cause I got a itch somewhere

And until he gets heater

Hot like the sun

Light decreases, it’s mid

Dark

Mad

Ness

I’m struggling to reach

He’s fighting to untie the strings

But his strong hands tied them good

In hell I’ll be read of enthusiasm

Let me dive in weakness because this is getting far

Untie or let me die

Drag some more

I rub my leg on the leg

And the chair it’s so turned on

wood melts

Exhausted by moves that roll too fast

You crawl to bite

And that’s your good behavior

In my cheek

I want to tie my hand

And lie

But it’s in the eye

I’m evil

And he won’t lie

It’s ride there by his side

Big and hard and sopping wet

Muscles in tension

But those ties won’t give in

his tongue is fighting

an honest fight

crying

screaming

I roar

To be untied

and

his desire

is

to die

exiguous

I never thought I would get this morose

until I listened to the piano

the notes hurt like iron

scraping

I will write better as I get to another song.

my room is filled with emptiness

little places,

over here and there,

will rest with this

eaten brain cells

and

sorrow.

you’re a louse, cut and straight

she said.

-I’m not a louse,

it’s all a matter of speech.

she poured some wine in a glass while she spoke

about

how the things I don’t know

should stay in this room

where I write alone

conjecturing.

this world is a cold act.

I don’t want to be here any longer,

I complained and she kissed me on the hand.

let’s not go

let’s stay here

and write

tell me some stories and

I will tell you my stories and

we will stay,

I said.

let’s not stay, she enquired.  

let’s go some place

where

speed is the ultimate reason

we’ll move slow

be the burned sensation of time

everything will be on fire.

I said: No,

let’s stay here

we know this place

it’s quite all right

it’s soundless and easy.

but

it’s not burning,

she said.

-Exactly, I answered, it’s not,

the world is a bad passage

last time I got out

I sat by the park and examined things

as they burned and Got lost

all together

and

when I tried to don’t remember

and to die

I closed my eyes

and blindly watched as

the world stroked alike.

her form was next to mine

her voice cutting the mustiness:

-You need to be

for a second

what burns in fire

what rushes in movement

and in decisions

this room is so noiseless

that you will not

presence the climax of living

and

if you don’t

everything else will have slipped away

afterwards

all the light in this town will be a shadowy dark

your sight, with blackness,

will not achieve

and then

there’s no point in viewing

you only live better if you smell and touch and taste

taste it’s the vital perception

let’s burn into fire

keep everything on the bottom of

recreation

irradiate your rhythm

let’s be out there!

but I said no, tiredly,

I was a louse

very less smart

I’m greedy, I said

I have my rhythm just for me and you.

and me, she said.

and you, I repeated.

some day, she said mellow,

you will burn holes in your eyes

and it will hurt when you try to see

and it will be too late to taste

you will be old and alone in this room

with your sight and your heart ill and no more guaranties.

I laughed.

aren’t you scared, she whimpered.

it’s already burning, I told her

it’s already late for me.

she understood

and took my hand

and kissed her

let’s not be rushed, she whispered

you can taste later.

but I wouldn’t taste,

she was right

I have burned holes in my eyes

and everything has burned with it

so I tried

at that moment

and stayed

because after all

to burn is not to die

it’s to be alive

and to get even more alive

I haven’t complained,

I stayed

and let it happen naturally with me

she stayed too, she always did

You know,

Best lovers, Love

Best killers, Kill

Best arsonists, Light fires

Best liars

Lie.

Best losers, are failing

and you

what do you do best

raw

I’m accepting things

As they come and go

how I would say

This is hardly enough to prove something is worth something

I get very used to lose

Being in someone arms

Not knowing if to squeeze

Or if better to let it go

This is a question

And an answer

Maybe a mouth filled with warmth

And hands all wet from spit

I spit in you and you spit me back

That’s how we love

And I sit past the coffee tables

Wondering where it all went

And fall

Not apart

But in parts

l lied down naked and watched shifts coming and going

on the shallow of furniture

it’s all raw

there’s no point in hiding

because riddles fall apart

and it seems almost as if

everything that is forgotten ends up being remembered

and to remember is to die

I’m not here tonight

Cause I’ve been feeling

I’m now what my mind resumes into a body

What I don’t look

I don’t am

What I don’t say

I should not think

Or rather try not to

Because my unity is raw

sometimes quietly I let it look

And I let it think

And I get used to it so good

That becomes natural

I get your ideas

I love your voice

And your spit

And the shadows upon the ramparts

Being flicked

Burns living

Burns death

Burns waiting

And I am ill

Ill from rawness

The hot melted smell of

skin upon skin

This is

Take and go

Don’t catch me in

I’m not here tonight

Cause I’ve been feeling

Since I lied in bed

And since I saw what’s left

Not in me

But in those bulwarks

Words write a story

Shapes write something else

and

It’s all raw

And raw it’s not a mode

It’s who I am

I am

Raw.

I am.

Raw.

steaming appetite

Is it desire who doesn’t make you rest at night

that keeps you awake

Wobbling

Is it desire who consumes your body sluggishly

Who corrupts your peace

Is it desire who makes your body

Ask for something else than meat and bones

Insufficiently attached

Is it desire who turns you into a melancholic person

Is it desire who makes your body hope

And moan

Get ill

with fever

animal, sickness, fever

Is it desire who makes you believe

you’re in love

And in a certain way you are.

You have fallen, right in

Deep.

There’s no such thing like sorrows in desire

You only want, you don’t regret

Is it desire who makes you listen to classic music

Over and over

At nights, while someone’s waiting for you

But you’re not sure if you wanna go

Is it desire that drives you mad

That doesn’t rest

That is nostalgic because he feels and bumps inside

Like some cancer

Yes, desire can become cancer

Is it desire that turns every move into beautiful picture

Is it desire that makes me wanna speak

Let this go

Let you know

Is it desire that radiates vivacity

Brings up the dead ones

Dead men are running

To arrive in time, to don’t miss this

Is it desire who makes the calls

Dials the numbers

Whispers his name

Whispers her name

Destroys tissues, clothes

Makes you dream and wake up all in wetness

Is it desire that makes you groan at night

Alone in bed

Imagining

Always imagining

What a fool.

Is it desire that makes you lighter and gentler

Is it desire that makes you ask

Grieve

Is it desire that makes you blink your eyes

Whenever you start to feel

The running of the clock

Time that doesn’t come

Time that will not come

Is it desire that puts you that way

Wanting so profusely to feel a body

That body

Oh that body.

Don’t take anything. People are walking in that street and I can see them.

Desiring.

Or is it me

Desiring

It may not seem like desire

But this is

This is wanting

An urgency that becomes so perfect

So honest

So clear

Is it desire that puts you away

And coming back

And on the side of yourself

Is it desire who says the words

Who puts sensation in my speech

Who makes me sneak at night

Out of bed

Reaching and reaching

It is desire who makes me howl

Howling through night

Not you

Not love

Not you

It is desire

It is not love

It is desire speaking.

caress

He is an incredible man

And I always had delight

For incredible men

With beautiful long hands

He says I have beautiful long hands too

And they’re just growing

To get bigger like that

Having big hands means

You can grab the world

And put it into your mouth

You can grab emotions, people, spaces

Even moments

And stick them inside your mouth

So deep

So they will stick with you

For perpetuity

An incredible man with

beautiful long hands

that he uses for so much

in the quiet moments at night

He wedges my hair with pearls

He rubs my skin until its hot

He makes dreams precise

And moans into contentment

he grabs grief and he smash it

you need big hands to smash grief like that

the only thing he needs to make me pleased

are his hands

I told him to don’t put them away

To don’t shrink them

To make them bigger

I tried to explain

but some men don’t understand about hands 

do they

eternity

you ask me to don’t forget

where our bodies have gone

and why they’ve gone so far

a night in so many nights

where I don’t recognize you

body heated up with some other fever

and a smell that is no longer the same

be kind and comprehend

that I live with that distress

of misplacing things

so remote from where we stand

a trace that doesn’t trace much

and a smile that celebrates wrong things

I decline to drink

I own no longer those bottles

being dry

keeps me from failing

drops are falling down and I don’t know

how

I don’t know exactly where to

sow

the work that I made

in this mode

the exact mode I always work

where I keep my bottles closed

enough just to don’t fail

to don’t leave

because I love where I get drunk

and I write where I make love

you may not get this now

you’re young, I know

but

we will see

time is the only thing that subsists for people like me

lots and lots of time

I forgot the smell

and the features

all those lines and traces

they’ve been there so long

I disremembered

all of it

but time

won’t left

and I won’t forget time

it has remained here so long

I can’t evoke

I can’t reconstruct

it’s misplaced, it’s all blurry

there was no alternative

I couldn’t tell you

I can’t tell you

cause I know you will leak

I know you leak

you leak sometimes when I’m around

you leak every time I’m around

and no words in this world

are able to explain

why leaking is unnecessary

I won’t remember

so please, do not leak

I know you won’t

but just in case you forget too

don’t worry

we will remember some day

The happiest man on earth

I want just for now to say that I’m sorry

Because I often do exaggerate

I know I require too much

And sometimes I forgot we’re different persons with different ways of understanding the world

I can’t flush it away

It’s like some illness.

And only in the gardens of stone

We would be all right

I only stop being that nugget

because

 I love you

Three very limited words

And they’re the

the size of the world

I kept the scene

A close up

You

You and the roof

A tiny little roof

A starlight sky

Our hands tide up

And kisses

Tongues, and sweat and tears

And blood

I already told you

I want you to be the happiest man in the world

And I want to be the happiest babe on earth

But there are essentials

And I need to know that we all are

In here

At the best place on earth

Same place

Anywhere

On the moon

We have to

Work some dots

I don’t want you to say

That you don’t love me

That you won’t give me this world and the other

I dry my tears

And I clean yours

it is not fair

damages me

And faith doesn’t like it

me neither

You need to have it all and know

How to prepare it in the best way possible

I know I’m very though

I am

But very little things were made from softness

I don’t need you around all the time

But I need to know that in a way or another you are

around

so I don’t forget the kisses

and the blood and the sweat

this has been so fresh with love

I need to be the best pearl

To rock your world

To flow your song

Like they say

But at the end it turns to be

some kind of implicitly truth

Otherwise it’s not worth it

And I don’t want no madness no

I don’t want you to be cruel

The world is so filled with cruelty

To you to be out there filling it more

Until it is stuck with grief

I always choose the best words

And I put them the best way possible

I’m very though

If you wanna leave

You know you can

God knows everybody can leave

But someone will have to learn how to live without you

How is it, I sometimes wonder,

To be the happiest man on earth

To be that, the man of my life.

the fishes

I’ve got a pond

And no clothes

My lover ripped them off of me

I yell, and nail and squeeze

I get in

I wash my feet

And the water is not cold

It’s kindly warm

and

There’s a steam

Grabbing my limbs

it

appears like fingers

 Love fingers

I immerse

A door left open

He’s missing too

Nobody says two without tools

I bathe

And he washes

In the pond of warm honey

I sight him

He sights me too

But too doesn’t come

Without this much of a due

We are electric lovers

And we are mad

We have fights

And then we run

Into the pod

And as we bathe we look

For reasons to don’t drown

ourselves in

the

fishes say we are smart

and

 that it’s

all about smartness

but

We kept alive all these years

Without drowning

And using this simple method

Of washing and noting

That we are everything except smart

We don’t drown

But we burn

The sun’s baking

And I tell the fishes relationships are not about smartness 

ultra-animal-violet

Under the uv light

We

tire up clothes

slash meat

flesh

we break

some bones

and roar

and howl

gloomily like the wolfs

cry

tears and snot

we spit

and mess it all

with saliva

but our teeths

get sharp

and angry

factious

eyes get deranged

a single slice

of lucidity

before hot temperature

to increase

blood to boil

simmer

we simply sit down.

I sit down, he

Turns the lights on.

It’s another world

We get to another world

As quickly as the switch

We keek each others

We band to our bodies

And meal

We make love

Something as rude

and raw

as making love

when you attain

a part of the world

or a shadow of a room

illuminated by some specific lightning

on smelly grey sheets

with few particles

of night light

hardly watchable

and a background sound

of interspersed moans

compiled

with minds

capable of everything

and as the night go by

the wolfs howl

and we make love

and moan

and you get hard

and I get wet

and there’s a special light glimming on the ceiling

and you call that something

ultra

animal

violet